Intro

I'm starting this blog because i'm sick and tired of my current weight. I weigh 158 lbs. now, the most i've ever weighed. I don't think it'll be THAT hard (I hope) to lose weight, since playing around with disordered eating is a big part of my past. I haven't been (obviously!) Not Eating or Purging in quite a while though. I think I was in 4th grade the first time I made myself throw up. And off and on through the years i've played around with not eating and purging and lost huge amounts of weight, even having people comment that I looked sick and like I was on drugs.

I want to get there again.  This blog is going to be separate from my regular LiveJournal, a private thing I don't want to be shamed or critiqued for.

I don't want to develop a full-blown eating disorder. I just want to lose weight. Alot of weight.

I have a pretty fucked-up history. I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, as well as Anxiety Disorder. I used to be severely depressed and suicidal and cut myself regularly. I also, later, developed a problem with crack and then later did meth frequently. I haven't done any hard drugs for about ten months now and it's been a long time since i've cut.